Serving its purpose

I don't think this blog will last very long.





But at least it's something. Something to document what I'm feeling for now, which is really all I want from it.





And then it will be gone; well, still here, but in stasis. A short record of a short period where I decided that everything was too public, but that a diary is too private (plus, all that WRITING...with your HAND!).



But yes, the main reason why I'm writing now, I suppose, is just because I wanted to get out some of my feelings. My brain is too full with other things (and needs to be filled with other things), so I need to get some things out.

I'm leaving Portland, a place that I've lived for less than a year, in only a month. Well, whether or not it's really exactly a month isn't for sure yet; it could be a month and a half or so, but either way, not very long.

I don't really know how to feel about it. I don't think of Portland as my home, that's for sure. Maybe I did when I first got here, and everything was exciting, and the summer was hot, and the sky was blue, and I wasn't alone. But then September came, and I was alone in Portland. And the sky was always cloudy, and the rain kept pouring, and it's been a long, long year.

I definitely don't think of Portland as my home, but I don't feel like a stranger in this town anymore, either. I've made it my own (at least, my neighborhood, and the other places I go). And I like my apartment (even though the water pressure is bad).

But anyway, I'm moving. And I'm happy about it. There are scary things, but I'm very excited. It's a new chapter in my life. I just hope that chapter involves staying in the same place for more than 2 years.

I just recently realized that, since graduating high school, which has now been 6 or 7 years (!), I have not lived in the same place for more than 2 years. Even in college.

College town 1 year --> study abroad 1 year --> hometown 6 months --> study abroad 4 months --> hometown 1.5 years --> another program 1 year --> Portland, almost one year.

I'm not complaining, but I'm just hoping to live in one place for more than 2 years. It's strange that that's a goal of mine, perhaps, but that's really what I want.

I have high hopes for this next move. I hope I'm right.

Ok, I feel better, at least a little.